Reflections of a legacy

I have attempted to (somewhat) process all of the events that have transpired recently as regards the death of my dad, the only father that I ever truly knew or had in my life. Words are not vast enough to rationalize nor summarize a person's life or another person's feelings to that person; this I have come to accept many times over the years.

It is well known that my father and I had our rocky times as well as our good times while I was growing up, as is usually the case with parents and their kids. He was always a very military-like person and I was more of the dreamer, less practical in a lot of ways than him. Therein was some of the conflict, I'm sure, but therein also were so many of the lessons that I learned from him while growing up. He was responsible for a lot of my drive to expand and learn. Some of my earliest memories were of my mom and him making sure that I did what I was supposed to do for school before I did anything else, and that alone led me to being in advanced classes from a young age, which was the domino that set it all in motion, I guess you could say.

My dad had a lot of health problems relating to his service career in the military, three branches out of the four. Due to exposure to Agent Orange in Vietnam that was responsible for his onset of Diabetes and the many health related issues throughout his life that eventually led to his death, he received a lifelong wound that would be with him till the end. Throughout it all he never gave up and never even entertained the thought that it might be too much to tackle. That was one of his greatest traits is that he never looked at anything with any other idea than it could be accomplished if one wanted to accomplish it.

I am not the person who will sit here and blog my feelings every hour about every aspect of every thing that passes through my mind in regards to this or any other subject, and I do not feel that it would even be justified to attempt to do so for my part. Life is what it is and he will be missed immensely by all of us, and I do not think that I could ever put into words the amount of impact that he had on all of our lives, no matter how hard I try to do so. He was responsible for showing so much kindness and love to so many people as a doctor as well as a husband and father, not to mention the sacrifice and danger he allowed to be put upon him by serving in the military during times of war and throughout the world for most of his adult life.

For those of my friends who have been by our side throughout this ordeal of his health and his final rest, and who have helped with your words, I thank you. To be selfless to our family even in such simple ways as through condolences is greatly appreciated and welcomed and will never be forgotten. And for my personal friends who have given me words of support of the past few years that have helped me to in some way help my mom and brother in whatever small way I could, I couldn't have gotten though some of this without you guys; so thank you.

There is still much that can be said and much to mull over in my head to try and make some sense of this life and the things that happen in it, and I'm positive that it will take the rest of my days to search and attempt to understand so much of it, but I know that I will never really come close. But for now, I'm glad that I was able to share these years in life with him and was privileged to have known him and have had him as my dad. Thank you.